How Do You Keep a Sympathy Plant Alive? Peace Lily and Orchid Care

A sympathy peace lily needs bright, indirect light, soil that is moist but not soggy, and a pot that never sits in standing water. Clemson Cooperative Extension also advises letting the soil dry slightly between waterings and keeping the plant above 60 degrees. 

The other popular gift, a white Phalaenopsis orchid, is easier to water than its reputation suggests. Researchers at The Ohio State University and the University of Georgia tested the "three ice cubes a week" method on 48 orchids at each campus for four to six months, with half watered by ice and half with the same amount of room temperature water. The ice-watered plants had the same flower life and showed no damage to leaves or roots. This post covers the first week at home, care for peace lilies, orchids and prayer plants, which sympathy plants are safe around pets, and what to do when a plant starts to struggle.

What is a sympathy plant?

A sympathy plant is a living potted plant sent to a grieving family, to the funeral home or to their house, as a longer-lasting alternative to cut flowers. Peace lilies and orchids are the classics. Florists also send pothos, prayer plants, ferns, monstera and succulent gardens. 

The plant often arrives during the hardest week of someone's year, with no care tag and no one in the mood to look anything up. A few simple habits are enough to keep it going until there is room to think about it.

What should you do in the first week?

Three things matter right away. 

Find it a bright spot out of direct sun. For a peace lily or a prayer plant, that means near a window but out of the sun's direct path.

Check for trapped water. Many gift plants arrive in a decorative outer pot or on a saucer. The Ohio State researchers note that orchid roots left sitting in water can be damaged, which can lead to the death of the plant, and Clemson gives the same warning for peace lilies: never let the plant sit in a saucer of excess water. After watering, tip out anything that has collected in the outer pot or saucer. 

Keep it warm. Clemson advises avoiding temperatures below 60 degrees for peace lilies, because cold damage may occur. In a Pittsburgh winter, that means keeping the plant away from drafty doors and cold window glass, and not leaving it in a parked car.

Leave repotting and fertilizer for later. Neither is urgent.

How do you care for a peace lily?

Clemson Cooperative Extension's peace lily factsheet covers everything a new owner needs.

Light. Peace lilies tolerate low light but grow best in bright, indirect light. They are one of the few foliage plants that will flower in low light. 

Water. Keep the soil moist but not soggy, and let it dry out slightly between waterings. Use room temperature water. 

Temperature. Daytime temperatures between 68 and 85 degrees suit them, with nights about 10 degrees cooler.

Fertilizer. Very little. Clemson suggests a balanced liquid houseplant fertilizer every six to eight weeks during spring and summer, and warns that overfertilizing can burn the leaf tips and roots.

Repotting. Peace lilies like to be slightly pot-bound. Repot when roots grow through the drainage holes or circle on top of the soil, into a container just one to two inches larger. 

The plant is good at saying what it needs. If the soil dries out too far, a peace lily wilts dramatically, and Clemson notes that the leaves and edges will turn yellow. Water it promptly when that happens.

How do you care for a sympathy orchid? 

The white orchids sent as sympathy gifts are Phalaenopsis, or moth orchids. The Ohio State article notes that Phalaenopsis make good houseplants because their temperature and light needs match the conditions found in a home or office. 

Watering is the part people worry about. The Ohio State and University of Georgia trial gives a simple routine:

• Place three ice cubes on top of the bark once a week.
• Keep the ice from touching the leaves.
• Empty any water that collects in the bottom of the decorative pot.

The researchers measured what the ice did to the plant. The bark dropped only to 51 to 56 degrees and returned to 70 degrees about five hours later. Roots in direct contact with ice fell to around 40 degrees, and separate tests showed no root damage until 20 degrees. 

The roots also work as a gauge. According to the Ohio State article, well-watered roots are green, drier roots take on a silvery color, and unhealthy roots turn brown or tan. Wrinkled, limp leaves mean the plant is under-watered. Start with three cubes a week and adjust from what the roots and leaves show. 

How do you care for a prayer plant?

Prayer plants are sent for their patterned leaves, which fold upward at night. North Carolina State Extension's guidance for them is short: 

• Bright, indirect light. Too much sun bleaches the leaf colors.
• Evenly moist soil during the growing season, with less water in winter.
• High humidity. A tray of wet pebbles under the pot or a humidified room helps.
• No cold drafts.

For other gift plants, ask the florist for care notes when the plant is delivered. The shop's guide to choosing houseplants at a plant store explains how to read the light in a room.

Are sympathy plants safe for cats and dogs?

It depends on the plant, and one common fear is worth clearing up first.

A peace lily is not a true lily. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration explains that true lilies and daylilies can cause fatal kidney failure in cats, while peace lilies contain insoluble calcium oxalate crystals that irritate the mouth, tongue and throat. The FDA says those signs usually resolve on their own. Clemson notes the same crystals can cause toxicity in pets and children if the plant is eaten, so a peace lily still belongs out of reach. 

The ASPCA's plant lists for cats sort the usual sympathy plants this way:

• Listed as non-toxic: Phalaenopsis orchid, prayer plant, Boston fern
• Listed as toxic: peace lily, pothos, monstera

If a pet chews on a plant from the toxic list, call a veterinarian or the ASPCA Animal Poison Control Center at (888) 426-4435. The ASPCA notes that a consultation fee may apply. 

For a household with a cat that chews plants, an orchid or a prayer plant is the safer gift. 

What should you do if the plant starts to struggle? 

Check three things in order: water, light and the pot.

Wilting. For a peace lily, wilting usually means the soil dried out. Water it thoroughly and let the pot drain. 

Brown leaf tips or edges. Clemson links these to overfertilizing or to the soil drying out too much. 

No flowers. Clemson notes that peace lilies fail to bloom when they are less than a year old or growing in too little light. Moving the plant closer to a bright window is the fix.

Root or stem rot. Clemson says root and stem diseases are the most common peace lily problem and are usually associated with over-watering. Let the soil dry and make sure the pot drains. 

A plant that came from a funeral can carry a lot of meaning, and a yellow leaf can feel like more than a yellow leaf. A local plant shop can look at a struggling one and say what it needs.

FAQ

How often should you water a peace lily?

When the soil has dried slightly. Clemson Cooperative Extension says to keep it moist but not soggy and never to leave the pot standing in water. 

Why is my peace lily drooping?

The soil has most likely dried out. Peace lilies wilt when they are too dry. Water thoroughly and let the pot drain. 

Why won't my peace lily bloom again? 

Insufficient light is the usual cause in a mature plant, according to Clemson. Move it to brighter, indirect light.

Can you really water an orchid with ice cubes?

Yes. In the Ohio State and University of Georgia trial, Phalaenopsis orchids watered with three ice cubes a week had the same flower life as those given room-temperature water, with no harm to leaves or roots.

Is a peace lily toxic to cats?

The ASPCA lists peace lily as toxic to cats. The FDA explains that it irritates the mouth and throat and does not cause the kidney failure that true lilies do.

When should you repot a sympathy plant?

Not right away. For a peace lily, Clemson says to repot when roots grow through the drainage holes or circle on top of the soil, into a pot one to two inches larger.

Sympathy Plants From Roots to Petals in Oakmont

Roots to Petals is an independent, woman-owned florist and plant studio at 527 Allegheny Avenue in Oakmont. The shop delivers sympathy plants in a modern white pot with a saucer, including double cascading white orchids, peace lilies, pothos, ferns and prayer plants. The plant collection can be ordered online, and at the Plant Studio the shop's horticulturists help customers pick plants suited to their lighting and lifestyle.

For help choosing, see the shop's guides to the best sympathy flowers and plants to send, to what kind of funeral flowers to send, and to the best house plants for Pittsburgh homes and apartments.

Visit Roots to Petals or call 412-822-6023 today. Contact us for more information.